Grief by Doug Alder

Grief

Sometimes

Sometimes it's like a winter squall

Howling in off the ocean

cold salty spray, hot salty tears

flooding everything in its path

Uprooting trees and lives equally

Sometimes

Sometimes you think it's done

Only to turn around and

at the littlest thing drown in it

over over over

seemingly no end

Sometimes

Sometimes you just can't stand

so you crumble

lose your footing in the flood

drown in grief

rending time, crying for forgiveness

Always

Always, those who are gone do not hear you

energy dissipated into the void

released from its mortal shell

reclaimed by the universe at large

no ears to hear no mind to sense

Always

Always forgiveness starts with yourself

--Doug Alder

Doug forwarded this to me shortly after his wife died.

Here is my response after he received my card of sympathy.

Your poem is beautiful, heartfelt and warm. I cannot begin to imagine your loss but your words give a small insight into what must be an all encompassing pain. I suspect you will write many more poems before this grief has subsided. 

I am pleased your received my small card. As I feared it arrived far too long after and I am sorry if it gave only rise to your pain and not the small measure of comfort such trivialities offer. None the less, it was offered in sincerest tone. If I were closer, I would bake bread and break bread with you.

When I was a child, the myths of heaven never offered solace. The idea of being spyed upon from past generations made me cringe. As an adult and now an atheist, death's reminder is to embrace the moment. The finality and permanence of death strengthens our resolve to love and live. I say this to remind you to hold to your memories. Even in our regrets, we loved. Even in moments of discord, we loved. Those we called family and friend enriched our lives. Embrace every memory of Diane and know that you were loved, that she loved you in return. 

I wish you the best as you grieve.

Sincerely and with love,

Bonnie