Today my sister died of Covid

My sister at left
08/07/1971-01/17/2022

Today my sister died of Covid. She was 50 years old. She was otherwise healthy. She was unvaccinated.

I have written about this since she was admitted to the hospital in August, 2021. Those posts with all their rawness, anger, and sadness, those rants and ravings are left unaltered for anyone to read. They can be found under my GET VACCINATED label linked here. I don't apologize for what has been written because of the sheer hell my father, my stepmother, and I have gone through as fully vaccinated and boostered individuals watching her unnecessary suffering. We waited unnecessarily for any dribble of information because the vaccine "debate" had caused such a rift that my BIL withheld timely updates. Now that she has died, the frustration remains: on par with the grief as a pointless, unnecessary death due to not being vaccinated. 

Our grief will be placed into a holding pattern; we will not be able to engage in the normal grieving rituals afforded by our society. We will not be able to attend visitation or the funeral because her church does not take the pandemic seriously. Her church meets unmasked. Her preacher will not advocate for the vaccine. Further, funeral homes do not enforce masking and distancing rules. I know this because I know people who have gotten sick from attending funerals and being unmasked, despite being wise enough to get vaccinated. My family can not take that risk.

There is a certain anger and frustration knowing that nothing will be learned by her death. Her church will gather unmasked, many unvaccinated, to celebrate her life cut short by Covid. They will take the opportunity to crassly push their religious beliefs, beliefs created in part to deal with a fear of death. They will say it was god's mysterious plan, his will, his unknowable wisdom, and a lot of other BULLSHIT. They will not use the opportunity to get others vaccinated. They will not preach against the lies that led her to be unvaccinated because, in part, they too are responsible for encouraging distrust of science and reason. They too push a political ideology which has contributed to vaccine rejection. Her death will strengthen their resolve and their beliefs. Her death will mean nothing for the greater good.

I am in grief. I am angry. I am frustrated. I am sick, physically ill knowing the ignorance that has led to my sister's death and the deaths of so many others. I hate that my anger rivals my grief. I hate that this is another pointless, meaningless, avoidable death. I hate that the last time I saw my sister was Friday through a hospital window unable to speak directly, signing, hugging myself to send her hugs while knowing I needed the hugs just as much as I wanted to convey the message of love to her. I hate that my sister is dead.