I thought, "He's dead."

My husband collapsed today and died...but he came back. I wish this were the start of a bad joke but I fear it's just the latest in a long run of bad luck.

I haven't been feeling well so I crashed until early afternoon. When I awakened I discovered two messages on the answering machine. The second call was from my husband's neurologist wanting to reschedule an appointment. I got on the phone trying to deal with it and went through several calls when their online system locked me out. I was on the second call when I noticed Lance had come into the kitchen. He was rummaging through the cabinets so I merely nodded, phone at my ear. I turned back to the phone and then heard a crash. Lance was stumbling to his feet. I told the doctor's office my husband was having a medical crisis and hung up.

I followed him into the bedroom where I saw him fall and begin crawling across the floor. He arose and then quickly sat on the bed. I suspected an aural phase of a seizure or a walking seizure but then he spoke. I took the food from his hand and he asked for water. When I returned with the mug, he just fell back onto the bed. At first I thought he was having a seizure, but I quickly realized he was not breathing. I ran to get my pulse/oximeter. After checking several fingers and both hands, I could not get a heartbeat. That point was the only moment I paused, but only long enough to think, "He's dead." I ran and called 911 and reported he was not breathing and had no heartbeat. I gave our address, announced I was leaving the line open, and leaving the front door unlocked. Then I went to start CPR. About four minutes before the ambulance arrived, Lance roused.

The EMTs checked him and his BP was 80/20 or 60/20. I can't really remember. His heart rate was about 70 on their pulse /ox. They attached him to a cardiac event monitor and he was in normal sinus rhythm, again about 70 bpm. As he was alert and his condition stable, I agreed when he refused to go to the hospital. I decided he would stay home from work for several days and I would keep an eye on him.

He slept for several hours. I awakened him when it was time for his meds and he returned to sleep. Eventually he got up around 11pm, took his last pill and eventually made his way into the library where he announced he wanted to talk. As I was telling him about his experience, which he had little memory of, he wandered off in a daze. From a nearby room I heard him collapse. He was getting to his feet as I came in. He was awake but said he was really dizzy. He was confused, then angry as I announced he was going to the hospital by ambulance. There was no way I'd risk him going in and collapsing on me mid point. Doing CPR in a car is not ideal and he is too big for me to drag onto the pavement. I called the ambulance and they took him to the ER which is where he is right now.