Today's Quotables
Some humorous and some not so humorous quotes for the day:
We’re only 9 months into this presidency and he’s already sending troops from red states into blue states while clearly stating his motives are political.
You know the civil war started right? The president has called for other states to invade other states....
If U.S. states have any degree of sovereignty, if there’s any states’ rights at all, it is the right not to be invaded by the armed forces of another U.S. state.
The Portland protests are only in one block. So why does it feel like the whole city has burnt to the ground? Why does it seem we are standing amidst Democracy burning to the ground?
Democrats are politicizing the US military by opposing Trump’s occupation of Chicago and Portland.-Satire: It's sad I have to point this out.
From a Fox "News" interview: Doocy: If a young man or woman signs up today, are they more likely to deploy in their career to the Middle East or to the midwest?Hegseth: President Trump's willing to stand alongside law enforcement… so in that sense they're more likely"
JD Vance wants to use the 25th Amendment to become president. Stephen Miller wants to exploit Trump’s dementia to run the country himself. Call it the new checks and balances.---Satire...or is it? In response: “JD Vance to tap Stephen Miller as his VP, bringing diversity to the White House.” For busy fascists, it can be hard to know which Fascist to support.
Speaking of Stephen Miller: “Evil begins when you begin to treat people as things.”---Terry Pratchett, I Shall Wear Midnight
The US states where Trump is sending in troops do not consent to being invaded. But when has consent ever mattered to Trump?
A key part of ICE’s efforts will be setting up random traffic stops and checkpoints throughout the city and making educated guesses about who to detain and who not to detain. These “Guess Stops” will be staffed by special agents known as Guess Stop Officers, or “Guess-Stop-O” for short. The Guess-Stop-O will make crime disappear by making undesirable people disappear.
Neither blacks nor women nor poor people had a voice when the Constitution was framed. So it’s hard to see why we should tolerate all this whining. --Satire or the right's talking points. Not an Onion headline.
Welcome to your first day on the job as an Immigration and Customs Enforcement officer. We hope you enjoyed your $50,000 signing bonus and were finally able to pay off your legal fees related to January 6 and/or your divorce.
Does being pardoned from your actions on January 6th guarantee a job at ICE?
MAGA and the Court of Public Opinion are the two remaining branches of government in the U.S.
“Do you think it's possible for an entire nation to be insane?”
― Terry Pratchett, Monstrous Regiment
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Whether it's Republicans flagrantly abusing Articles One and Two of the Constitution or Democrats being bad at messaging, both parties are pushing America to the brink.--Satire
"Republicans are pushing America to the brink the right way" by Ezra Klein. It's satire or is it?
Did Ezra Klein mean Brink or was it a typo for Drink? Let me grab a shot and see.
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“Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying 'End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH', the paint wouldn't even have time to dry.”---Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time
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And they pump so much stuff into those beautiful little babies. It’s a disgrace. I don’t see it. I don’t, I think it has, I think it’s very bad. They’re pumping, it looks like they’re pumping into a horse. You have a little child, a little fragile child, and you get a vat of eighty different vaccines, I guess.-Donald Trump, Verbatim Word Salad
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The message is: Work with Republicans in Congress to save America from Republicans in the White House. It defines oxymoronic. Subtract the “oxy” and it fits that bill, too.---Frank Bruni.
Bruni continues "So Republicans in aggregate are saying that it’s irresponsible of Democrats to interrupt the functioning of government, but that the government should perform many fewer functions. They’re presenting themselves as the protectors of government while staging an assault on it. With one hand, they’re wagging a finger at Democrats for inflicting temporary pain on Americans; with the other, they’re waving a pom-pom at the chance to inflict lasting pain on them. I guess both gestures involve extremities, but that’s where any consistency ends."
Who is to blame for the government shutdown? We asked three unvaccinated Kid Rock fans at a cage fighting match in Fort Walton Beach.---Satire
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Over the weekend, Trump's deputy chief of staff for policy Stephen Miller repeatedly attacked judges, calling them part of an "organized terrorist attack" on the US government.... On Saturday, the home of a judge who ruled against Trump, went up in flames. Cowinkydink?
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"Hepatitis B is sexually transmitted. There’s no reason to give a baby that’s almost just born hepatitis B. So I would say wait till the baby is twelve years old and formed, and take hepatitis B." - Donald Trump, friend of Jeffrey Epstein and amateur artist
The Epstein Birthday Book: “Sometimes it’s like you’ve discovered a rich man’s contract with the devil, and next to his signature, he’s drawn a little penis cartoon.”---Jessica Winter in The New Yorker
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Lest we forget Saint KirKKK...
Regarding Erika Kirk's grieving process, a new portmanteau has been coined: Griefting
You know what was weird last week? I didn’t see anyone fired for quoting words actually spoken by Jane Goodall.
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From griefting to grifting: Jared Kushner is going to the Middle East to negotiate a deal on behalf of the U.S. government days after Kushner announced a $55 billion deal between his private equity fund and the Saudi government.
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Don't cry for me, Argentina. Rob Citrone, whose hedge fund bet big on Argentina, reportedly asked his friend for a rescue package. Guess where his buddy works...Hmmm, another billionaire getting preferential treatment and a bailout at taxpayer expense.
Trump’s personality is equal parts Max Weber and Andrew Lloyd Webber, and now he’s sending our tax dollars to Argentine bad Cat Javier Milei. Given that Javier’s a bachelor, you know Donald wishes he could give him Melania instead—as a modern day Evita.--Written as Satire. Seems like one of those Onion Headlines they play on repeat. Response to satire, but not a satirical response considering the Cult of Trump: Some say Trump is a modern day Jesus Christ Superstar. My response: Think Anti-Christ or The Beast...nah. ♫Anti-Christ Superstar♫ fits the showtune and we know Trump loves his showtunes.
Is anyone really surprised that Trump and company are so friendly with Argentina these days? I mean, that's where all the Nazis scarpered off into hiding. They're just laying the groundwork.
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Liberals say that recent Supreme Court ruling have given the executive branch too much power. But they’re wrong, because the rulings only apply to Trump and will all be reversed when there’s a Democratic president.---Satire
Satire about the SCOTUS Shadow Docket: The Founders wrote the Constitution, so President Donald Trump can end it. By Alito, Thomas, Gorsuch, Kavanaugh, Barrett, and Roberts. It could be true. "David D. Cole, the national legal director of the American Civil Liberties Union and a professor at Georgetown University Law Center, has likewise said that if the Court can 'make significant decisions without giving any reasons, then there's really no limit to what they can do'."
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Nothing bad can happen. It can only good happen. But with Tylenol, don’t take it. Don’t take it. And if you can’t live, if your fever is so bad, you have to take one, because there’s no alternative to that.--Donald Trump
Why are you scattering these quotes around instead of grouping them like the others? What? You want your brain to break!
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“Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom.”---Terry Pratchett
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The quiet joke among the top brass after last week's summoning to Pigsdeath's and Trump's speeches at Quantico: The speeches of "Fat Man" and "Little Boy" really bombed.
Pigsdeath and Trump wore more makeup than all the women in attendance at the Generals Quantico meeting. If the secretary, eeeeww what a girlie title, has his way, there will be zero female generals in attendance at future meetings.
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If we can embrace the Israeli destruction of Gaza City, surely we can take the next step and accept the armed occupation of our own cities---by Bari Weiss. Satire, yet eerily reflective of her pro-Netanyahu bias. Also reflective of her more German than German actions allying herself with Trump's cabal of billionaire newscast owners seeking to eliminate bias in reporting: there can't be bias when you only present the only side.
Holocaust Harris should be tried at the Hague for everything Trump and Netanyahu are doing to the Palestinians in Gaza right now, and soon the West Bank.---that one progressive asshole friend who refused to vote against Trump for one, and only one, sacrosanct reason.
Is there famine in Gaza? This forthcoming CBS News report says you’re asking the wrong question; you should be asking what happened on October 7th.--Satire inspired by new leadership at CBS, Bari Weiss. That's great news for Bari Weiss' owner, Peter Thiel, and his owners, the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. KSA now owns CBS. Never forget they murdered Jamal Khashoggi to give you talentless loser Bari.
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“That's blasphemy." [...] "That's what people say when the voiceless speak.”--- Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay
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Of Thomas Pynchon's new novel, Shadow Ticket NYT's Dwight Garner said, “Alongside Émile Zola’s The Belly of Paris, it is perhaps Western literature’s Great Cheese Novel. (Though Pynchon often spells it ‘cheez.’) It’s as if he’s out to make America grate again. Whereas Zola sang of Brie ‘like melancholy extinct moons’ and compared a round of Gruyère to ‘a wheel fallen from some barbarian chariot,’ Pynchon finds in the industrial production of curds and whey enough paranoia, satirical and otherwise, to power a midsize city, perhaps one in Wisconsin.” For me, a Pynchon novel has all the appeal of a can of spray cheese or Velveeta, a cheese food product. If they make Vegan foods embrace Cheez as a descriptor, shouldn't Velveeta follow? If George Carlin was a "ponytailed vulture feeding off the corpse of Lenny Bruce," then what is Pynchon's Gravity's Rainbow in relation to James Joyce's Ulysses?
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I'll leave it to you to source where these quotes came from. IOW, Google It. As for the ones you can't source, there's a strong chance I wrote that part. BTW, I take full credit for Pigsdeath. When it popped into my mind, I simultaneously pictured Mussolini hanging upside down. Inferences abound.
